"The Just Reward"—Crooked Timber/Slim Acres
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The Just Reward

(Lyrics by Harold A. Pickett; music by Scott Ryan)

A rich man went to Heaven
And was stopped upon the stair
While an angel opened wide the book
To find his record there.

He said, "This page is blank, sir;
Now, that seems very queer.
Did you do nothing down on earth
To earn admission here?"

          The rich man thought and pondered
          As he slowly scratched his head.
          And then, his eyes, they brightened,
          And this is what he said:

"Why, yes, I just remembered—
This ought to do the trick.
I once gave a man a dollar
Who was destitute and sick!"

          The angel closed the record
          When the interview was through,
          And then he turned to old St. Peter
          And asked him what to do.

St. Peter stroked his whiskers
And then said, "Very well;
Let's give the man his dollar back
And tell him to go to Hell!"